this is a blog lol.

My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god

• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
• We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
• The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
• Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

• Yo: all I want to do is find a girl and treat her right
• Yo: first i park muh car then i fuck yo bitch

• Yo: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
• Yo: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
• Yo: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
• Yo: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.

• Yo: omg i luhv smokin pot omfg i get drunk off lyke my moms wine coolers lol sometimes i take an extra vitamin in the morning so i can get that high lol! on tumblr i reblog sex because unfff me and my boyfriend fuck almost twice a day. im a bad bitch lol one time my mom yelled at me because she said i cant be bringin boys up to my room so i said FUCK YOU lol i do what i want yolo!!
• Yo: omg did i forget to feed my tamagotchi this morning